Because batteries are expensive yo...

Wanna know how I know that Gracie is my bestest friend ever? She has my back. And my vaginas back as well. When we moved back to the westside, we put the majority of our stuff in storage including the vibrators. GASP! Im sure you are wondering why I would move across the country without those, but we moved in with my mom, so very unlikely they were gonna get much use. Gracie had the key to the storage in case I needed something.
One day I asked her to head over cause I needed some paperwork that was in there. Apparently when she got there she heard a humming sound coming from a box. Without hesitation Super Gracie rushed into the burning building and rescued the kitty...ok maybe it was more like she open the box and turned off my vibrator. Thats what good friends do, they save each other from having to buy new batteries. And I guess in a way, she did save the kitty afterall...

Reason # 12984 why I should not be a matchmaker or fortune teller...

Sidenote: Gracies offspring shall from here on out be referred to as Thing 1 and Thing 2 and J's will be known as Girl, Boy A, and Boy B.

When Gracie and I first started hanging out we totally planned out our kids future. Thing 1 and Girl were gonna get married. Then as time went on, Girl started dressing Thing 1 up in her princess dresses and fairie wings and we realized Thing 1 was more likely to be Girls gay best friend. Now, Thing 1 has turned all boyinsh and Girl thinks she has nuts. Wow, did we call that one wrong or what....

How did we get here?

Once upon a time 5 years ago in a land called Texas, there was a girl named J. She was sick of sitting at home with her fat ankles so she went on the internet and met Gracie. Gracie laughed at J's ankles and they have been laughing ever since. 4 years later, lots of drama, llamas, pity parties, and lots of massively hilarious inside jokes, J moved away. Some may think the end, but nope. The two girls made a deal to write each other in a notebook so it would seem like the other was there. But J is really lame and lost the notebook before they even wrote in it. So instead we are here. With a blog. Filled with the stupid hilarious shit we say to each other. If you think you know us and ended up here, hopefully you arent too offended. But if you are oh well. We say things like shit, lesbian, douce lord, and vagina. If any of these words offend you, you should probably stop here.

Purpose of this whole blog? Who knows. We have so many rediculous conversations and jokes, that maybe we can document them here and print them out later. Plus it would only be wicked awesome to read about chupacabras and guys coming on our asses when we are like 70.
Hugs!